A knight in shining armor

A lazy Sunday afternoon, there she sat in the remote corner of the rich state Library of Bangalore with the book “A knight in shining armor”  spread  on the library desk.

After a long tiresome week she had decided to free herself from the clutches of the lethal office and home rut by losing herself into a romance novel and opened the list of 10 most romantic novels on the internet. In the list the title “A knight in shining armor “caught her special attention and had almost pounced at her mind with a question mark. “?” A big question mark that had been bawling in her mind since time immemorial. “Where is my knight in shining armor??”…  She couldn’t answer the questions raised by her own tormented self but she surely could delight her strained mental faculties by reading this surreal saga. And so she reserved her Sunday at the State Library for this fascinating read. She retired to bed after uttering her usual ritual prayers and swamped by gratitude of having been able to find something to engage herself  in. 

Outside, the grey clouds scudding across the sky were in sharp contrast to the semblance of order prevailing inside the vast hall lined with book racks and with seats occupied with the readers. One such ordinary reader’s rushed eyes rummaging through the aisles for the best book that could come to his rescue for completing the report due tomorrow, fell on this carefree damsel rapt in some seemingly arousing novel. He could almost read the open pages from far with the aid of the expressions on her face. With her two brows furrowed and forehead creased with lines of anxiety she was a book easily readable to this reader at least in that second of time. She seemed to be pondering hard over the difficult answer to some easy question. 

Driven by an urgent inexplicable desire to find out the question that seemed to be etched in every line of this pretty face he advanced towards her seat with an air of casual sociability and sat in the vacant seat across hers. He spread the book in his arms on the table and started reading through the pages, intermittently taking his eyes off to scribble in his notepad. His eyes on one such flight from the notepad to the book managed to steal a view of that face with surprise and questions written all over.

The story on the open pages is to this effect:

“Help me,” she whispered, her hand on the marble hand of the sculpture. “Help me find

my Knight in Shining Armor. Help me find a man who wants me.”

“Sitting back on her heels, with her hands covering her face, Dougless began to cry harder.

After a long while, she slowly came to realize that someone was near her. When she turned

her head, a stream of sunlight coming from a high window hit metal and so blinded her that

she sat back on the stone floor with a thud. She put her hand up to shield her eyes.

Standing before her was a man, a man who appeared to be wearing  armor”

……..“Well, witch,” the man said in a deep baritone, “you have conjured me, so what now do

you ask of me?”

And then as though in extension to the story, she heard the boy seated across the table say “hi, what’s going on??” to her, to which she replied…”Oh she ‘s finally got her knight in shining armor..”  At this his lips twitched into an admiring smile, then parted to introduce himself to the lady..“

“I am Arjun”

Smiling she replied “Priya ”.

And then she suddenly put her hand up to shield her eyes from the sunlight flooding in through the windows.

Smiling,  Arjun said , “looks like the sun has driven off the clouds…”

Dazed by the coincidence of the events of the day and those in the book, Priya arranged her features into an evasive smile and dropped her eyes back to the book on the desk.

As though in response to some silent words , he said “ Carry on please, I won’t detain you from this interesting read any further”.. And waited for a second to have his eyes meet hers… but they seemed to be too glued to the pages to give so much as a passing glance to this boy who seemed to be as interested in her as she was in the story.

The light of the afternoon started fading into the dimness of the dusk as the two stories advanced , with the creaking of chairs heralding the close of the day.

“Hellooo, wind up .. fast…

we’re closing ..”

The strident voice of the library attendant snapped the only two readers left in the vast hall, out of their respective remote worlds.

Arjun and Priya slammed their books shut and rose from their seats in order to leave. In the process his eyes met hers again, and found them as blank as a white paper now.. Everything that was so clearly written in them was gone with the slam of the covers of the book.

Just when her lips started parting to say bye… the sound of his words interrupted her, “ So how was the book?”

She replied evasively “ very good, thank you”

 He smiled at her , she gave a brief concluding smile too, a smile that left him wondering about the riveting maiden , hidden behind that mask of cool civility, that appeared  so well covered and yet so persuasive and alluring…

He’ll have to find out..

To be continued.....

P.S: That's my first attempt at writing a story and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Let me know through your comments if you like it.. I may write further  ;)

Wrong turn!

Pre-Script: This crap need not be paid attention.

Sometimes a wrong decision weighs so heavy on you that you seriously start doubting the whole damned relevance of your existence.

In the heat of passion, I too made a wrong decision some 6 months back and now what?? Every dream which was once flaring with the intensity of sun has died down to ashes making my entire world all black.

 Lying amongst the ashes are some vain hopes, some bizarre yearnings of playing with the hands of clock, of a beautiful past that could lead to an even prettier tomorrow-apparently my present wherein I stand, ready to trade a thousand tomorrows for a single yesterday. Yes, human desires can be so insanely vain.

Morning dreams do come true , specially when they are undesirable. My dream did come true , trust me it did. My best friend- the only one I "truly" have, gave me the sad new of the demise of my desires, and almost as soon as I realized that it was just another bad dream , I heaved a sigh of relief only to wake up to find out that it wasn't a  dream but the trailer of an ugly reality!  I failed and the same report card, as in my dreams,same down to every grade, conjured in front of my eyes, only this time it was real.

I have been mourning for too long, my benumbed intellectual faculties have been burning on the pyre of my dear dreams from a long long time. My wimpy frame cries out loud for a colorful attire. The wings which once dreamed of touching the acme of success have been clipped by the cruel hands of failure. The continual flapping of the wings and the accompanying moan disheartens like nothing else on the surface of this meaningless earth.

I am sick and tired of wallowing but I understand that no one else is responsible for my sorry state of affairs but me. I am the writer of my own misfortune, slayer of my own tomorrows. How, I wish I could be a redeemer too. How I wish I could re-write this awful chapter of my life. But reality shouts back at such vain hopes over and over again, I can’t do so!

As I stand still, watching the cremation of my own miserable-self, I can see a crazy brave fiber yet untouched by the blazing cinders, I wonder if it’s going to survive long enough to regenerate a new life out of the ashes.

May a mere hope breathe life into an otherwise dead frame –whispers a demented soul!

P.S: I wish to believe that desires die, but dreams can be protected , if hope is made to survive despite all odds. I pray, may every broken-heart have its hope intact, alive..

My take on "Death Penalty Abolishment"

While Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab rests in his grave, the world is busy mulling over the answer to the moot question posed by his death: Should death penalty be abolished?

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR):

According to Article 1 of UDHR

"All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood."

Rightly so, all humans are born free and equal in dignity and rights but can it be justifiably said that all of them are endowed with reason and conscience?

After witnessing plethora of earth-shattering murders and atrocities in a country believing in such high precepts of human rights, will it be really coherent on the part of any human being in full possession of his faculties to give the aforementioned lines any credence? Are these people who are supposedly “brain-washed” and thence go around killing innocent people, eligible human beings, fit to enjoy the Human Rights? Just because they look like all the other human beings when in fact they do not seem to possess even a shred of humanity does not make the answer to the above question a reasonable YES.

Why the death sentence was correct in Kasab's Case:

Some people believe that the person on whom the death sentence has been pronounced may turn out to be an innocent human being after he is dead, leaving us in a very sorry situation by compelling us to think that we actually stained humanity in his blood. While that is a very coherent explanation for supporting the abolishment of capital punishment, does it really hold water in absolutely transparent cases like that of Kasab?

Also some people propose that Kasab was “brain-washed”, when he was young and thence became a criminal. The canons of humanity dictate that we should give him a chance to transform himself from a savage beast to a civilized saint. Well, if that is the case then the same reason also governs that no one on mother earth should be punished for any offense he/she commits for no one is born a criminal and everyone has a reason like Kasab had.

India: A Soft Nation

Let me refresh your memory by mentioning some unforgettable headlines from the past:

The Mumbai Terrorist Attack, 29th November 2008, claims the lives of over 250 innocent people, leaving over 208 people seriously wounded.

Mumbai Train blast: 209 people killed and over 700 injured.

September 13, 2008 Delhi bombings more than 30 people killed and over 100 injured.

We never really got the chance to witness any effort made by the Human Rights Group, overtly or covertly, to prevent this menace from spreading like a wild fire, let alone curb it.

Either we are used to these kinds of appalling things or we being a soft nation do not wish to take any extreme/serious action to strike off the crime and terror from its very roots. Even the UN General Assembly that passed a draft resolution seeking abolition of the death penalty was quite quick in making its voice heard in this regard but there has always been a grave silence in the wake of terrorist attacks, be it in Mumbai or Delhi. I fail to understand, why?

The resolution was not honored by India and rightly so, for she has done everything constitutionally and within the framework. This audacious and confident move on the part of India heralds that even a soft nation can be unforgiving in the face of unpardonable and deplorable acts of violence.

It is understandable that the purpose behind punishment is to discourage crime among the citizens of the country and Kasab’s execution is a Legal Murder which shall serve as a lesson to all and sundry in the realms of crime, even to those who are supposedly brain washed.

His last statement: “Allah kasam maaf kar do, aisi galti dobara nahi karunga” should have been televised in order for all the terrorists to see the ultimate end of a horrendous drama.

Undoubtedly, India is a land, graced by the indelible presence of great people like Gandhi,
whose only weapon was non-violence and by the likes of the dauntless Ahilya Bai holkar.
Nonetheless, the same Gandhi gave us the slogan “Karo ya maro” and the same kind Ahilya bai didn’t refrain from denying her arms the comfort and warmth of her only son by laying him under an elephant’s feet, on account of  his unpardonable behavior.

The noose of death in this fable has strangled an incorrigible criminal and what follows is, plethora of voices howling over the abolition of capital punishment. Why?

The nation should wake up and smell the coffee, for the common man now yearns to breathe and not gasp in the wake of trepidation. We cannot keep sacrificing thousands of innocent lives so as to protect the “human right of a terrorist” who is hardly a human.

Let’s think once more before abolishing death penalty which is given only for “Rarest of Rare" cases and especially for such crystal clear ones.


Written in collaboration with Neha Jain (my flatmate) for "The Hindu" open page.

pyaar bhara geet.

एक प्यार भरा गीत सुनते हुए तेरा ख्याल इस  दिल को जब  आया ,
निकल पड़ा ये कमबख्त भी अल्फाजों की एक हँसी तलाश पर ,
खूब भटका इधर -उधर , मगर न ढूंढ़ पाया वो कुछ चंद लफ्ज़ ,
जो दिल में तेरे इस कदर उतर जाए,
के तेरे नैनो से बरसे सिर्फ मुहब्बत का सुरूर ,
तेरे खामोश ओंठ बस गायें प्यार का वो एक नया नगमा,
जिसकी धुन पे थिरके , ये सारी मुहब्बत की दुनिया ,
जिसको सुनके बिछड़े हुए हरएक  दिल को,
 अपना कोई प्यारा सा साथी याद आ जाए

एक प्यार भरा गीत सुनते हुए तेरा ख्याल इस  दिल को जब  आया ,
उसमें बसे तेरे हसीं चेहरे को ही बस पाया ,
मगर फिर भी ना ढूंढ़ पायी वो चंद लफ्ज़ ,
जो दिल में तेरे इस कदर उतर जाएं ,
के तू ये दास्ताँ-ए -मुहब्बत समझ पाए

inspired by the song : "saanu tere naal ho gaya pyaar meri gal sun le soniye.."

tanhaai

Pre-script:  Here goes my first poem in Hindi.. :) :)

तू क्या जाने मेरी कहानी ,

    चादर ओढे लेटी  वो तन्हाई ,

गले लगाने को बेकरार हो जैसे ,

    झाँकती तो कभी पुकारती वो पल पल ,
कह रही हो जैसे आजा मिटा दे ये हलचल,
    मेरी बाहों के घेरे में सिमट के ,
सारे गमों का इज़हार आज तू खुल के कर दे ,
    और बह लेने दे ये मोती बेशुमआर,
छट जाये शायद तेरी कुछ उदासी ,

तू क्या जाने मेरी कहानी ,
    चादर ओढे लेटी  वो तन्हाई ,
तमाम हसरतों को उड़ान दे रही हो जैसे ,
    हज़ारों उल्झनों  के जवाब देती जा रही न जाने कैसे ,
तांकती झाँकती कह रही वो बार बार ,
   डूब के तो देख एक बार इस दरिया में ,  
तू पहुँच जायेगा हर मुश्किल के उस पार 

At the crack of dawn..

At the crack of dawn,

let every inch of this insomniac soul

Bathe in the light of enlightenment

The sun had risen long back,

Got this wanderer back on track.

Aye, the storms kissed goodbye,

Happiness now wide awake,

Oh... how pleasurably have their say:

“look at the rising sun,

told ya, now it’s my turn!”


P.S : Life is beautiful and very simple, if only,  you only think about what you want , be all blind to the face of adversities and deaf to the hard knocks,
if only, you can resist the usage of "WHAT IFs .." and "BUTs",  while penning down the mystic saga of your  life.. :) :)

Random thoughts..

Some words need no voice,

Some feelings novice,

From the dead they arise ,

The whole wide world set aside…

Life’s a place where just love resides.

I don't know..

Sometimes there is no light to break up the dark. At a point, when everything is bleak, I sense that a streak of light is enough to see life, but in stark darkness we tend to lose sight of it, altogether. I close my eyes shut or walk with open eyes, it makes no difference for all I can see is darkness.

When you stop running for a moment to nourish your weary lungs with air, you realize what you’d lost all this while, you were running and that is happiness, that is life and when you realize this you don’t possess even a scrap of energy to continue this race anymore, for the flare of passion which had been fuelling your lungs till now, is extinguished by the sudden chills of this very realization.

Planned things never work out in my favor, just when I expect from myself to put in my best in the most important exam of  life, my expectations betray me. I’d happily fail a thousand times, if it were just an exam, but to my utter misfortune this is not my story. If failures were just one aspect of life,  I’d happily take it, but sadly it’s a lot more.  

Every morning I wake up with a vain hope of seeing the light of reason, but there’s no sun in my world, even the nights are moonless.

Even with the music on, all that I can experience is absolute reticence. Even with so many people around, loneliness is my only companion.

As though, every moment is dragging the course of this maze, like it were a crippled being, as though  life is going to go on and on, as if this mortal life suddenly decided to fancy the mould of eternity, just to see how long my patience can survive and like every other question, it has the same answer, "I don't know"..

I..

Sometimes or shall I say that most of the time, I am not privy to whatever it is that’s flowing within me. My thoughts are in complete mess and there’s so much vacillation as to whether my interest lay here or over there.

I fall for people I’ve not known for long very easily and the next moment I start hating myself for thinking about them, almost to the point of distraction, for caring about them with a passion so demented that no person on this entire earth , in full possession of his faculties would deem justifiable.

I have always dreamt of becoming a strong independent, successful woman in love with this wonderful thing called life and yet I feel like a blind girl stumbling in the dark, waiting for someone to lend me a stick at least , if the support of a hand is too much to ask for…

I have always wanted to believe that a girl doesn’t need a man to complete her and yet, most of the time , I like to go against my own tenets allowing myself to fall for that “someone”, I like for no reason at all, so blatantly.

I have always preferred books over humans, love in imagination, not in reality…but now I find myself caught in the tangles of an age where loneliness kills. I feel like a prisoner confined in the territory of my own longing waiting for destiny to launch my debut into the world of reality….just as I see it in the precincts of imagination.

Life is very uncertain, I hear people say and I have always loved it for the sheer improbability which is so typical of it but sometime I find myself gasping for air in the vacuum of an uncertain future.

I have always wanted to believe that I know myself and love myself for who I am, but sometimes when I look back, I find absolutely nothing that would make me believe in the beauty of my own reveries..

Sure, life is complicated for one simple reason that there’s a huge difference between what we think we want and what we actually want from our life and because of so many other complicated ones which always elude my mental faculties …

Limbo..

I am far less than an ordinary girl in this extraordinary world, strong and courageous like that rigid stone lying by the side of a road, impervious to the pain rendered by the crushing foot-steps of the sundry pedestrians.

I am full of imperfections and coarseness has become one of my most distinguishing features. On that bend where I lie, appreciating the beauty of stars at night, the darkness fails to penetrate my tough exterior but the trivial light of moon never fails to delight my numb senses.

There was a time when I was trampled badly,  to the point that transcended all the precincts of anguish or any sort of sensation. I tried hard to put my chaotic life into some semblance of order only to fling myself into that deserted territory of recluses, where I vowed never to return to my native land.

In this new world I styled and tailored myself in a way that would make me less vulnerable. From dawn to dusk I follow the same ritual that I used to follow earlier , with the subtle variation,  that this time I draped my soul in a black fabric and cordoned it off  by laying a careful siege of cool civility and indifference around it, thereby rendering it unperceivable to the scrutiny of those marked by even the slightest of  curiosity or  other forms of humanly emotions.

On some nights, when I shut my eyes, the intense wisp of air through my window throws open all the doors that I had once closed, bares my soul and takes away the dark cloth.

I can’t deny the fact,  that it feels nice to let the  watchdogs down  for a while ,that it feels nice to do away with the disguise that had been protecting me thus far and venture into those forbidden places for once, where I bask in the light of self-enlightenment and actualization.

In that vulnerable form, I ran into someone a few days ago and from that very day onwards, a constant penchant to throw away the darkness and let the brightness pass through every fibre of my being, has never left my side..

I keep commuting between the two worlds, I often find myself ensnared in the insurmountable limbo of restlessness….

I long to extricate myself from this abysmal quagmire..