Limbo..

I am far less than an ordinary girl in this extraordinary world, strong and courageous like that rigid stone lying by the side of a road, impervious to the pain rendered by the crushing foot-steps of the sundry pedestrians.

I am full of imperfections and coarseness has become one of my most distinguishing features. On that bend where I lie, appreciating the beauty of stars at night, the darkness fails to penetrate my tough exterior but the trivial light of moon never fails to delight my numb senses.

There was a time when I was trampled badly,  to the point that transcended all the precincts of anguish or any sort of sensation. I tried hard to put my chaotic life into some semblance of order only to fling myself into that deserted territory of recluses, where I vowed never to return to my native land.

In this new world I styled and tailored myself in a way that would make me less vulnerable. From dawn to dusk I follow the same ritual that I used to follow earlier , with the subtle variation,  that this time I draped my soul in a black fabric and cordoned it off  by laying a careful siege of cool civility and indifference around it, thereby rendering it unperceivable to the scrutiny of those marked by even the slightest of  curiosity or  other forms of humanly emotions.

On some nights, when I shut my eyes, the intense wisp of air through my window throws open all the doors that I had once closed, bares my soul and takes away the dark cloth.

I can’t deny the fact,  that it feels nice to let the  watchdogs down  for a while ,that it feels nice to do away with the disguise that had been protecting me thus far and venture into those forbidden places for once, where I bask in the light of self-enlightenment and actualization.

In that vulnerable form, I ran into someone a few days ago and from that very day onwards, a constant penchant to throw away the darkness and let the brightness pass through every fibre of my being, has never left my side..

I keep commuting between the two worlds, I often find myself ensnared in the insurmountable limbo of restlessness….

I long to extricate myself from this abysmal quagmire..

I still remember...

I still remember the way it started,

One day when my eyes caught your profile

As though,  I could see through your soul,

Without even knowing you at all.

I still remember the way it felt,

When I went up this beautiful ladder.

At every step that I took,

I etched a new chapter into this friendship book.

I still remember how we would go on chatting,

With the Saturday night melting into Sunday morning

Our talks punctuated by your pizza breaks,

With me telling you that it’s not good for your sake.

I still remember your promises full of innocence,

Crammed with those beautiful words of endearments.

'Barbie doll' had become my favorite pet,

Alas! It’s something I still can’t forget.

I still remember the way I felt,

When you had asked me my phone number digits.

I still remember your late night texts,

I still remember your infantile requests.

I still remember our first meeting,

I still remember those message bottles.

The message which said ,this gift is the best,

Is still etched deep inside my heart.

I still wake up to the euphony of,

the pink clock you gifted

The friendship band presented by thee

Still rests on my wrist.

Your puerile voice still dawdles in my ears

Your profound songs I still love to hear

I still remember your tender glances

I often relive the meetings we exchanged.

You came and went like that wisp of air,

But the scent of your friendship continues to linger ,

in the midnight air , gushing past my hairs.

Believe it or not , you’ll forever be in my prayers.

I miss you..

~ puji ~