At the crack of dawn..

At the crack of dawn,

let every inch of this insomniac soul

Bathe in the light of enlightenment

The sun had risen long back,

Got this wanderer back on track.

Aye, the storms kissed goodbye,

Happiness now wide awake,

Oh... how pleasurably have their say:

“look at the rising sun,

told ya, now it’s my turn!”


P.S : Life is beautiful and very simple, if only,  you only think about what you want , be all blind to the face of adversities and deaf to the hard knocks,
if only, you can resist the usage of "WHAT IFs .." and "BUTs",  while penning down the mystic saga of your  life.. :) :)

Random thoughts..

Some words need no voice,

Some feelings novice,

From the dead they arise ,

The whole wide world set aside…

Life’s a place where just love resides.

I don't know..

Sometimes there is no light to break up the dark. At a point, when everything is bleak, I sense that a streak of light is enough to see life, but in stark darkness we tend to lose sight of it, altogether. I close my eyes shut or walk with open eyes, it makes no difference for all I can see is darkness.

When you stop running for a moment to nourish your weary lungs with air, you realize what you’d lost all this while, you were running and that is happiness, that is life and when you realize this you don’t possess even a scrap of energy to continue this race anymore, for the flare of passion which had been fuelling your lungs till now, is extinguished by the sudden chills of this very realization.

Planned things never work out in my favor, just when I expect from myself to put in my best in the most important exam of  life, my expectations betray me. I’d happily fail a thousand times, if it were just an exam, but to my utter misfortune this is not my story. If failures were just one aspect of life,  I’d happily take it, but sadly it’s a lot more.  

Every morning I wake up with a vain hope of seeing the light of reason, but there’s no sun in my world, even the nights are moonless.

Even with the music on, all that I can experience is absolute reticence. Even with so many people around, loneliness is my only companion.

As though, every moment is dragging the course of this maze, like it were a crippled being, as though  life is going to go on and on, as if this mortal life suddenly decided to fancy the mould of eternity, just to see how long my patience can survive and like every other question, it has the same answer, "I don't know"..

I..

Sometimes or shall I say that most of the time, I am not privy to whatever it is that’s flowing within me. My thoughts are in complete mess and there’s so much vacillation as to whether my interest lay here or over there.

I fall for people I’ve not known for long very easily and the next moment I start hating myself for thinking about them, almost to the point of distraction, for caring about them with a passion so demented that no person on this entire earth , in full possession of his faculties would deem justifiable.

I have always dreamt of becoming a strong independent, successful woman in love with this wonderful thing called life and yet I feel like a blind girl stumbling in the dark, waiting for someone to lend me a stick at least , if the support of a hand is too much to ask for…

I have always wanted to believe that a girl doesn’t need a man to complete her and yet, most of the time , I like to go against my own tenets allowing myself to fall for that “someone”, I like for no reason at all, so blatantly.

I have always preferred books over humans, love in imagination, not in reality…but now I find myself caught in the tangles of an age where loneliness kills. I feel like a prisoner confined in the territory of my own longing waiting for destiny to launch my debut into the world of reality….just as I see it in the precincts of imagination.

Life is very uncertain, I hear people say and I have always loved it for the sheer improbability which is so typical of it but sometime I find myself gasping for air in the vacuum of an uncertain future.

I have always wanted to believe that I know myself and love myself for who I am, but sometimes when I look back, I find absolutely nothing that would make me believe in the beauty of my own reveries..

Sure, life is complicated for one simple reason that there’s a huge difference between what we think we want and what we actually want from our life and because of so many other complicated ones which always elude my mental faculties …

Limbo..

I am far less than an ordinary girl in this extraordinary world, strong and courageous like that rigid stone lying by the side of a road, impervious to the pain rendered by the crushing foot-steps of the sundry pedestrians.

I am full of imperfections and coarseness has become one of my most distinguishing features. On that bend where I lie, appreciating the beauty of stars at night, the darkness fails to penetrate my tough exterior but the trivial light of moon never fails to delight my numb senses.

There was a time when I was trampled badly,  to the point that transcended all the precincts of anguish or any sort of sensation. I tried hard to put my chaotic life into some semblance of order only to fling myself into that deserted territory of recluses, where I vowed never to return to my native land.

In this new world I styled and tailored myself in a way that would make me less vulnerable. From dawn to dusk I follow the same ritual that I used to follow earlier , with the subtle variation,  that this time I draped my soul in a black fabric and cordoned it off  by laying a careful siege of cool civility and indifference around it, thereby rendering it unperceivable to the scrutiny of those marked by even the slightest of  curiosity or  other forms of humanly emotions.

On some nights, when I shut my eyes, the intense wisp of air through my window throws open all the doors that I had once closed, bares my soul and takes away the dark cloth.

I can’t deny the fact,  that it feels nice to let the  watchdogs down  for a while ,that it feels nice to do away with the disguise that had been protecting me thus far and venture into those forbidden places for once, where I bask in the light of self-enlightenment and actualization.

In that vulnerable form, I ran into someone a few days ago and from that very day onwards, a constant penchant to throw away the darkness and let the brightness pass through every fibre of my being, has never left my side..

I keep commuting between the two worlds, I often find myself ensnared in the insurmountable limbo of restlessness….

I long to extricate myself from this abysmal quagmire..

I still remember...

I still remember the way it started,

One day when my eyes caught your profile

As though,  I could see through your soul,

Without even knowing you at all.

I still remember the way it felt,

When I went up this beautiful ladder.

At every step that I took,

I etched a new chapter into this friendship book.

I still remember how we would go on chatting,

With the Saturday night melting into Sunday morning

Our talks punctuated by your pizza breaks,

With me telling you that it’s not good for your sake.

I still remember your promises full of innocence,

Crammed with those beautiful words of endearments.

'Barbie doll' had become my favorite pet,

Alas! It’s something I still can’t forget.

I still remember the way I felt,

When you had asked me my phone number digits.

I still remember your late night texts,

I still remember your infantile requests.

I still remember our first meeting,

I still remember those message bottles.

The message which said ,this gift is the best,

Is still etched deep inside my heart.

I still wake up to the euphony of,

the pink clock you gifted

The friendship band presented by thee

Still rests on my wrist.

Your puerile voice still dawdles in my ears

Your profound songs I still love to hear

I still remember your tender glances

I often relive the meetings we exchanged.

You came and went like that wisp of air,

But the scent of your friendship continues to linger ,

in the midnight air , gushing past my hairs.

Believe it or not , you’ll forever be in my prayers.

I miss you..

~ puji ~ 

AN ETERNAL SISTEROMANCE (part 1)

Pre-script : This poem is a prequel to the post I published last and was penned  by me one year back for my best friend, Bhavya.

It all started with the first day in college
Despite the jitters a gal brought solace
Her eyes glinting with excitement
Helped me break free of all the confinements.

The way her lips twitched with a smile
Her eyes pretty and juvenile
So deep as the ocean ,
And full of emotions
That at just one fleeting glance
I fell into this ever-lasting trance.

Days wore on,
And the diffidence was all gone
The seeds of a perpetual bond were sown
And something known as friendship was born.

But it seemed as though the saplings
Needed some more pampering
There might yet not tested
So how could they be accepted?

Storms and hurricanes came swirling around
Only to leave their bastion tumbling upside down.
 To see the rubbles whirling around the town,
And then posit them deep inside the ground.

When they were close to bringing home the bacon
To leave my soul drowned in desolation
It was the time when I surmised,
That she is an angel who will never leave my side.

Our friendship survived many such storms
And in the process got stronger and reformed.
With each tear, that I shed and she wiped
I didn’t realize but our friendship had revived.

Soon we'll  be tossing our graduation caps in the air
After that seeing each other will be a rare affair.
So, with just one year left
There is nothing I want to regret and repent.

Here is a little effort on my part
To show you your place inside my heart
I want you to know my dear friend
That I will love you till the end.


Love you,
forever and always.. :)

An eternal sisteromance (part 2)

I cried through the night
Cus’ I knew something wasn’t all right
Gazing at the starry blue skies,
I could see life, stretch in front of my eyes..

A person suffering her sentence,
Subsisted on the wavering surface of reticence.

Tried hard each day, to stand my ground,
But never walked back home, in not a thousand pieces..
I was inching apart from that thing called life,
When you became the part that brought a million smiles…

Like a flickering candle, on the verge of doom..
My life was stirring with a glut of gloom..
A person detesting shadows,
You were the bastion of radiance..

Like a crippled being seeking support.
I waited in earnest for the comfort of scaffold…
An angel full of light,
you held me upright..

Like a blind man plodding without a stick…
I awaited the final tick of the clock…
But you came into my life,
Gave me a new reason to survive..

I was destined to perish in lonesomeness
But you added a new episode to the banal plot,
altered the course of a life, on the brink of rot.

We walked hand in hand for such a long time
We sang the song of life in the same rhyme…
But I never realized, one day
Your hand will slip away…

I hold you so close to my heart,
Can’t tell you how, but there is none above you,
I was drawn to you from the start,
Only to see how we fall apart later?

I can’t believe that you are leaving me,
Because the love I had found
Was oh so very true..
And the only thing I didn’t regret, was you..

I cry through the night
Cus the next morning is a goodbye,
While the night is dark,
My hopes, still vivid.

Though, we are to take different routes
Dance to the tune of different beats…
One thing I know will stay the same forever..
Till the end,my friend,
our sisteromance shall live..

Te Amo..
Para siempre y siempre.. :)

BARREN HEART..

                                                         


                                         

                                               

                                        Underneath the blanket of stars,

                           I would sleep with the door ajar.

                           You managed to peep in,

                           When the lights were dim.

                           And see just that one star,

                           Kindling in those dark eyes.

                           You claimed like you were that light,

                           Capable of dazzling the night.

                           You awakened the wistful dreams,

                           Craving for reality in a dejected life.

                           Love flowed like an unremitting stream,

                           Seeds blossomed into the Love amaranth,

                           But the heat of lust that served as a bee,

                           Drew on the nectar, left the heart barren.

BLANK...

With mind as blank as this white paper

Have the emotions really tapered off???

Nothing to scribble down,

Not even the trash hanging around..

As if this is a blank canvas

And I am the artist

Facing the quandary

As to what shall I paint?

So many colors in my palette

I was never really short of  visions.

And still I am not.

What holds me back then??

So many words flowing within

But the tune is missing…

Oh..I am not certain…

How do I compose my song…

May be I have forgotten the art,

The effortless procedure of self indulgence..

But the beauty continues to haunt..

The feel of the pen still agitates..

Maybe the harmony connecting,

My thoughts and the pen is at rest

But hope is still a thing with wings.

That perches in the soul…

And sings in tune with the words…

And never ever fades away.

 

P.S : I won't really say that I am facing a writer's block for I am not really much of a writer, but I promise to post something better and more coherent next time..
 Saru ma'am I mulled over the answer to your question, and thence scribbled whatever I could manage to wheedle out of my brains...Thank you very much for taking note of my absence. :)